Lose the quit

On my one year weight loss Anniversary…

To be honest, I have been distracted.

It is time to look at things with a new spirit and continue on the path God has made for me. A path without fear, temptation, pain, suffering, darkness and drama.  My path where only goodness abounds.

I am making new agreements in my life starting now.  I just got through reading the Four Agreements.  Great book! I am going to “do my best” to follow the agreements each day. Here they are:

1. Be impeccable with your word
2. Don’t take anything personal
3. Don’t make assumptions
4. Always do your best

Look at myself and love what I see. It is God within me.  All I need to do is forgive, love and honor myself and God will take care of the rest. 

I have lost the quit.

Illumination: Day 1

I don’t want to be adored, don’t want to be the first in line, or make myself heard.  I’d like to bring a little light, to shine a light on your life and make you feel love.  -Keane, Hamburg Song

The lyrics above could not describe me better.  This is how I want to spend the rest of my life.  I want to shine a light of love and inspiration to anyone I come in contact with.  To be void of any fear or doubt that may enter my mind that could take me off track. We could all use more love each day, whether from an outside source or from within yourself.   We all deserve it! Today I pledge to you that I will continue to grow and live my life to the best of my ability and honor the gifts that have been given to me.

I challenge each of you to reach out to someone each day and shine your light!

il·lu·mi·na·tion
Pronunciation: \i-ˌlü-mə-ˈnā-shən\
Function: noun
1 : the action of illuminating or state of being illuminated: as a : spiritual or intellectual enlightenment b (1) : a lighting up (2) : decorative lighting or lighting effects c : decoration by the art of illuminating.

Mind/Body Makeover

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Well, I’m back! Third quarter proved to be a though one, but the good news is I’m still winning! Today I start an 8 week Mind/Body Makeover challenge at CrossFit Music City. I’m really inspired and excited about this program. I am looking forward to a change in my routine. For the last few months I have trained hard, doing a minimum of 7 workouts per week. My body started to reject the demands I was putting on it which forced me out of the gym for a few days. The MBM will give me a lighter workout schedule in the gym consisting of 4 workouts per week. This will also allow me to get back to basics and do more activities outside the gym, on my own. I think that will be a great way for me to re-discipline myself and find a clearing in my mental/emotional state. It is easy to get caught up in routine. I was initially fearing the change, but now I say bring it on!!! That is in fact what life is all about, right??? This is the first makeover challenge that CFMC has offered and we have a great group of people involved. I am looking forward to seeing all the changes in others and I really hope they can all feel as good as I do now!! To date I have lost 74 lbs. There are a couple milestones to report soon, so stay tuned…

Turn on the off button

It feels like I’m starting week number 1,000,000,000. I’ve lost track of days. I’m feeling a little under the weather and my ego has taken a strong hold on my training for the last month or so. I have been very strict in my training and diet up until a month ago. I started giving myself reasons to take liberties with food mostly. I would tell myself, “it’s ok to have popcorn or a zone bar for dinner”. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not giving up or spinning out of control, I’m just having a hard time getting back to when I would let nothing get in my way of my diet and workouts. The first six months were golden. Nothing could stop me. I wonder where I lost my inner awareness. I am afraid of getting back to a place of not loving myself enough to have the proper discipline I need to get to my goal. I am reading every book and meditating and finding ways to get out of my head and my way. I have moments of breakthrough, but as the day wears on and I interact with people it becomes challenging to keep up. Being sick really frustrates me because I feel like I’m strong and I do everything possible to prevent it from happening. I’m so tired that I can’t see myself in the gym this week. I know I need to push myself, but this week is just not going to happen. I feel a lot of pressure in the gym now. I have asked for this. Some workouts are hard for me to control my emotions and attitude. I’m working on getting better on that for my sanity, but when you start involving other people in your emotional and mental journey, inspiration can be hard to carry. Sometimes I wish I had an off button.

Influence filter

It seems that I have gotten a little off track with my food the past few weeks. For some reason I have told myself it is okay to have a bag of popcorn at 10 pm before bed!!!!  Really?  Other people I have talked to are saying to me that it is OK to indulge once in a while because I have been so strict, but where do I draw the line? I have started to let outside influences filter in and I think that is why I am having a struggle. I need to get back to me. I need to not worry about what other people are saying. I need to not worry about what other people are doing and not doing. I need to work on getting MY focus back. When I started it was ME and my trainer. That was it. There was no one else. It is up to me. I decide to win or lose. I choose. I have the power. Next week I will be back to 110%.

Life at 300 lbs.

Original post: Tuesday, October 13, 2009

My highest weight was  300 lbs.  in 2008. This has become a discovery of learning to love myself and having the respect for myself to change the way I was living my life. Today I write to you 60 lbs lighter and with the mental toughness of a pro athlete. I am a believer that if you become vulnerable to yourself you can do anything you want. I decided to stop making excuses and commit to a healthier life. I hope you will follow me on this journey. I still have a long road ahead…http://www.crossfitmusiccity.com